Sunday, January 19, 2014

Expert Mom!

I've got this whole parenting thing down y'all. I'm pretty much an expert. And if you buy that I'll throw the Golden Gate in free ;)

Six months have passed and the only thing I've mastered is faking that we have our sh*t together. Sleeping through the night? Nope! Getting out the door without forgetting something really important? Never happened. Introducing solids without an severe allergic reaction? Negative.

5 Simple tips on how to fake like you have your life in order with a 6 month old! 
Fake it til you make it mama.

Put on red lipstick. This might sound odd but bright lips distract from dark circles under your eyes. And for some reason people think you are dressed up if you have red lips. Try it, I swear it works! 

Wear clean clothes. This seems like a no brainer but nothing says "hot mess" more than walking around town in dirty clothes. Staying on top of the laundry is a full time job in itself. I use the washer like a hamper. Keep your shout spray out all the time and spray "goo" thoroughly. When the washer is full start it. Wash on cold and hope for the best. Also, be ok with throwing away poop filled jammies at 2am. Also, if you have a puker, bibs will cut your laundry in half. Last month as I walked into work I realized not only was I wearing a sweater I had already worn that week but it was covered in throw up. Luckily no one noticed OR if they did they were too polite to say anything.

Pack for the apocalypse. Be ready for anything. My diaper bag is my everyday survival kit. Don't just think of the baby. Pack that sucker with granola bars, an extra shirt, and water!! (This is of course when you remember the diaper bag.)

This is the face we see all day!
Smile and ask for help. Husband, parents, stranger in the grocery store parking lot. You will kill yourself trying to do everything on your own. I find that a genuine smile gets you a lot further than hysterical tears....but those work too.

Shop when you can! When Rals was about 8 weeks old I started doing these manic postpartum Walmart runs at 5am on Saturday morning. This made Mr. R very nervous and confused because I would just whisper goodbye and walk out the front door. When you need dog food, diapers, tires, and a Snuggie when the rest of the world is sleeping where do you go? WALMART! And no, I have never bought a Snuggie. It's not usually my store of choice but at 5am nothing else is open. And I 'll tell you what, it's not bad when no one is there. I wear my sneakers and literally run through the aisles with my list. If I can make it out of the store by 6am I reward myself with a Starbucks and buy coffee for the person behind me in line. Maybe they are a new mom too.

I'm going to crawl any minute.
Sitting up all by myself.
We may have not mastered parenting but what we have mastered is covered in throw-up, sleep deprived, "is this really our life", unconditional, wouldn't trade it for anything, LOVE. Baby Raleigh is growing every day! Where did the last 6 months go?  I will go on record saying he is the worlds happiest baby! Worlds best sleeper not so much. But I'll take a happy baby even if I'm sleep deprived.

Can they stay this little forever? Please!!!

Rals is sitting up and scooting all over the place. He chews on anything and everything. He has two big ol' teeth and uses them! Baby boy loves to watch his cousins play and I just know as soon as he can crawl he will be right in the mix. He loves his excersaucer and when he is in it we say he is "working" because he is so focused on all of those little gadgets. Baby R is finally realizing he has two puppy brothers. He spends a large part of his day laughing at them and trying to get away from their very slobbery kisses. We have introduced rice cereal, apple sauce, sweet potatoes, pears, bananas, green beans, baby food basics, and dunn dunn duuuunnnn avocado. *Important* If the mama is allergic chances are baby is allergic. No one told me this and the second time I gave baby R avocado he broke out into full blown, Will Smith in the movie Hitch, hives. Mother.Of.The.Year! Baby R's favorite dinner activity is sucking/chewing on a big ol' chunk of bread. I am fairly confident he could take down an entire piece of pizza if we let him.

The past 6 months have been the happiest and most challenging months of my life. Challenging in a good way of course! Everyday we are learning something new and watching Raleigh boy literally grow right before our eyes. Some times after a long nap I swear he is bigger.

He is the best part of my day!

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